| In my new novel, Aberrations, the characters | | | | can lead to regret, obsession, and bitterness. The |
| uncover truths about themselves that are quite | | | | key is to focus on what you see ahead and on |
| difficult to handle. The main character, Angel, must | | | | what is available to you now. |
| deal with issues that cut to the core of her | | | | 5. Life really is like a box of chocolates. Life is full |
| identity. In my own life, I've also had to confront | | | | of surprises; that's what makes it so interesting. It |
| truths, some that were hidden from me, and | | | | keeps boredom at bay. The downside is that |
| some hidden by me. Now, I'm learning to accept, | | | | sometimes the surprises we get pierce the heart |
| and even embrace, the reality of my unique life. | | | | rather than put a smile on the face. Like the box |
| Sometimes the truth grabs you right where it | | | | of chocolates Forest Gump's mom pushed, you |
| hurts and strangles the life away. Maybe you | | | | never know what you're gonna get. Hopefully |
| were out looking for the truth, trying to sort | | | | everything you get will be bright and rosy but if |
| through your life, or that of another, digging up | | | | you're like most of us, that's not the reality. When |
| the past, shoveling into the present, hoping to | | | | faced with a truth that hurts, remember that life |
| uncover and understand what you're really dealing | | | | is stranger than fiction, and there's intrinsic value in |
| with. Or perhaps the truth was thrown at you | | | | every type of chocolate you might end up with. |
| when you least expected it. Maybe it slapped you | | | | You just have to look for it and be open to |
| in the face and made you realize that the life, | | | | accepting it. Change, trying new things, and |
| relationship, or goals you had just aren't working. | | | | opening the mind to new possibilities often calls |
| Something has got to give, to change, but now | | | | for a stretch of character, insight, intelligence, or |
| you're standing alone, trapped in a whirlwind of | | | | emotional range. |
| emotion, making it difficult to move. | | | | 6. Truth is a good mirror. The unexpected truth |
| Don't lose heart. It's tough to know what to do | | | | facing us can be an excellent mirror. It's the type |
| when you realize your next steps could alter the | | | | that has three sides and shows us the front, |
| life you know in ways you can't quite visualize. | | | | sides, and back all at once. It can show us facets |
| Knowing what to do next and then doing the right | | | | of ourselves that we'd previously ignored or failed |
| thing can be just as difficult as living in the midst | | | | to recognize, like how our pants have gotten |
| of a lie, but having the courage to move forward | | | | baggy in the rear or a bit too tight. We may have |
| will put you on the right path. It may be dark at | | | | felt it happening but until we get a good look, it's |
| first. It may be lonely. It may or may not be a | | | | hard to realize the extent of the situation. This is |
| path filled with flowers and light, but it's the right | | | | the time to explore that new vantage point. Take |
| one. | | | | a long hard look at who you are and who you've |
| In this two-part blog entry, I'll share my thoughts, | | | | become. Are you where you thought you'd be? |
| ten points total, on accepting truth when it seems | | | | Are you who you wanted to be? Had you |
| to smack you down. I don't have all the answers | | | | forgotten your original plan? Did you drift off |
| but I'll share the outcome of years of stewing | | | | track somehow? This is the whirlwind swirling |
| over the truth issue. It's likely the stew I'm | | | | inside your head. Rather than fight it, dig into it. |
| cooking will take a lifetime but I have to believe | | | | Shift, move, and twirl with the wind. |
| that my simmering pot can provide some good | | | | 7. Adjusting to the truth takes time. Pain is |
| food for thought. | | | | inevitable and it's going to come in some form or |
| Dig in! | | | | another. Some people prefer physical pain to |
| 1. Sometimes the truth hurts and that's okay. | | | | emotional. Some people turn to alcohol or other |
| Two key elements that make us more advanced | | | | such unhealthy Band-Aids to dull pain. It feels like |
| than animals, particularly Ostriches, are intelligence | | | | nothing good is happening when all you can feel is |
| and emotional complexity. Whether you were | | | | confusion and emptiness. Our natural instinct is to |
| searching for the truth, or whether it hit you in | | | | get over it and out of it however we can, but if |
| the face like an unexpected baseball bat, it likely | | | | you rush it, you risk losing the benefits. Everyone |
| hurts to some degree. Did you think it would be all | | | | knows that the trials and tests of life make us |
| rosy, that somehow your heart would swell | | | | stronger. Unfortunately, hearing that a thousand |
| simply because you finally discovered the truth? | | | | times doesn't make it any easier to operate |
| Did you think the information wouldn't hurt you? If | | | | under the premise. The best thing you can do |
| you asked for the truth, how can you complain | | | | when you're tempted to find ways to dull, ignore, |
| now? If you didn't ask for it but got it anyway, | | | | or erase pain, that is utterly and completely |
| the pain stinks but is a necessary evil. Regardless | | | | expected given the circumstance, is to remind |
| of the scenario, the truth hurts because it's real, | | | | yourself (as many times as you have to) that it |
| an almost tangible element of the life you lead. | | | | will make you stronger, it will build muscle but only |
| The pain tells you you're still alive. If we had little | | | | if you do it right. Let it happen; give it time. You |
| emotional complexity, perhaps it wouldn't hurt. If | | | | won't regret it. |
| we lacked intelligence, we might not realize the | | | | 8. The truth will set you free but something else |
| implications or mistakes associated with the new | | | | may trap you. As you advance into the new |
| information. To be fully alive and awake in our | | | | realm of possibilities that surface once the |
| own lives, it's essential to feel a wide range of | | | | whirlwind dies down, don't forget the whirlwind. |
| emotion. When you emerge on the other side, | | | | Don't forget how it felt and what you learned. At |
| you'll be different, better, and wiser. You'll have | | | | this point, regardless of the strength and insight |
| more to give. | | | | gained, it's easier than you might think to settle |
| 2. You can't change the truth. By definition, the | | | | into another pattern, another mode, albeit |
| truth is the true or actual state of a matter. It is | | | | different than the one you just left. It can |
| an indisputable fact or reality. It is accurate. If you | | | | become a new trap. Life is a journey and on a |
| change it, twist it, manipulate it, or ignore it, it will | | | | journey one must constantly make decisions. Be |
| not retain its integrity and you'll be left, again, with | | | | the captain of your own destiny. Life is filled with |
| a lie. You'll be back were you started. Sometimes | | | | responsibility but it's also an adventure stuffed |
| people want to go back but once you know the | | | | with boxes full of new chocolates to try. |
| truth, it's either impossible or unhealthy to go | | | | 9. Truth can be the seed of forgiveness; don't let |
| back, to pretend your life away. Is going back | | | | it be the seed of bitterness. Bitterness is another |
| what you really want? Sometimes we want | | | | backlash trap that often snares us when faced |
| something so badly that we begin to believe it. | | | | with the truth. I won't lie. The truth sometimes |
| We believe all kinds of lies. We pretend all kinds of | | | | hurts so intensely that our bitterness festers and |
| things because it's fun and it feels better than | | | | grows far-reaching tendrils at incredible rates. Like |
| facing reality. Some people can continue this | | | | a cancer, bitterness can spread to other facets |
| charade for quite awhile, some do it until the day | | | | of our lives in surprising ways. It can crush us and |
| they die. But isn't that what childhood is all about? | | | | close off our ability to love and trust and give. It |
| If we're lucky, we're granted those early years to | | | | can kill our childlike sense of adventure as quickly |
| play and pretend and try out all kinds of scenarios. | | | | as it can impact our choice of words and our |
| As we mature, we realize that there are realities | | | | decisions. Sometimes it takes a full blown war to |
| to life, some harsher than others. Accepting the | | | | fight it off but it's worth it. You're fighting for |
| truth will take you places that children can't often | | | | your life. Forgiveness can be the hardest thing to |
| go. | | | | give when you feel as if everything you had is |
| 3. You're better off knowing the truth. Sometimes | | | | gone or everything you wanted is out of reach. |
| we believe that if we simply don't know the truth, | | | | Regardless of the situation, find the strength to |
| we'll be fine. If you don't know the spaceship | | | | fend off bitterness and find forgiveness. People |
| you're riding in isn't real, you can keep enjoying it, | | | | can change. Situations can change. Sometimes the |
| right? Well, that could be true in some cases; | | | | choice you make when faced with the truth calls |
| however, do you really want to be the person | | | | for a whopping dose of forgiveness. Be brave, |
| who's sitting on the bed thinking they're in a | | | | stretch yourself, and make a choice for |
| spaceship when everyone else is standing by the | | | | something positive, whether it involves keeping |
| bed thinking, why doesn't he realize that he's just | | | | aspects of the past or washing them all away. |
| sitting on a bed going nowhere? What does that | | | | 10. The world is full of opportunity, and so is truth. |
| really do for you in the long run? What is your life | | | | As an adult, how many times do we get to |
| about anyway? Do you have goals? Do you have | | | | change our perspective, life, career, or anything |
| dreams? How can you accomplish your goals and | | | | else of significance? How many times do we get |
| dreams if you're too busy using up so much | | | | to feel 18 again? Sometimes when faced with |
| energy orchestrating a dream to live in? In this | | | | reality, we're forced to change our lives in |
| case, the truth can set you free and free you up | | | | numerous ways. If we're not forced, we certainly |
| to pursue real life. | | | | realize there are important choices to make. If |
| 4. Life is stranger than fiction, and so is the truth. | | | | you're determined to move forward, look for |
| One of the most satisfying elements of fiction is | | | | those opportunities--that book opening in front of |
| its ability to make sense of life. Life, and | | | | you--and jump in. You're only as old as you think |
| sometimes truth, is stranger than fiction. Fiction | | | | you are, and it's never too late to do the things |
| gives us nice, neat outcomes and explanations | | | | you want to do and be the person you want to |
| while life drags us along, wrapping chains around | | | | be. There are a million scenarios in life and no one |
| our hearts and minds. The frustrating reality is | | | | can tell you what to do. Your life is unique. You |
| that truth doesn't always afford us the privilege | | | | are unique. You are the only one who can apply |
| of complete understanding; sometimes it just | | | | these concepts to your situation. It will take some |
| doesn't make sense, which makes it harder to | | | | time to sort it all out and make the choices that |
| accept. The challenge is then to resist being stuck | | | | need to be made, but don't lose heart. And if you |
| in a time, place, or situation that is beyond your | | | | fail, if you make a wrong choice, it's not the end |
| ability to navigate. It stinks and it's tough but the | | | | of the world because the world is endless. The |
| best way forward is to accept that there are | | | | truth is that there is always truth to be found, |
| situations in life that can't be understood, and that | | | | and when you find it, you find yourself, every |
| your time is best spent focused on your true | | | | time. In the words of Winston Churchill, "Never, |
| circle of influence. This may be the most difficult | | | | never, never, never quit. |
| long-term challenge when faced with the truth. It | | | | |